NOTE: Some of you may have noticed that my blog has been ignored for the last 5-6 weeks. With all the changes that have happened around me, I've had a need to focus on getting through this time of transition and getting settled into the new rhythm of life. I'm still a ways from being "settled", but it's coming together. My hope is to back to my usual posting schedule of trying to get something up each week along with a "Sunday Setlist". Thanks to all who have been so supportive in this time.
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Typically I don't do a lot of personal writing in this blog. If you look over my postings you'll see that I like to tie snippets of my life into what I'm seeing in the Word and what GOD is showing to me through circumstances, but I don't like to focus on my personal life. So this post will be a little out of character for the blog, but with all that has happened/is happening I feel that it is appropriate, at this time, to share with you all where I am at at this point in my life.
This whole story dates back a couple years. I was approached by my buddy Jordan about an idea to plant a church. I felt like GOD was leading me to walk with Jordan through this process and enter into this venture with him. Up until this point in my life I had never really considered a full-time church ministry. I LOVE the Church and I LOVE the local body of believers. I have always had a great passion to serve my brothers and sisters who are traveling in the journey of faith along side me. However, this usually manifested itself in a little volunteer work or leading worship for weekend or week-long retreats, camps, etc. So the thought of planting a church and doing church ministry full-time was a bit daunting, but as we got into the process it became very clear to me that GOD had lead me to a place of preparation for this very purpose. Over the course of the next year or so Jordan and I began to put together thoughts and ideas of how we could lead a body of believers in a direction of biblical balance in regards to evangelism, discipleship, worship, and social concern. GOD continued to fan this flame in my heart and open me more and more to the idea of entering the ministry on a more permanent basis.
Now, at this point, the church plant was halted. This was devastating to those of us involved and left us with some unanswered questions. For me, it was a question of my own recognition of GOD's calling. I wondered why GOD had made it so clear that this was the direction I was to begin traveling if it was, ultimately, destined to fall through. Why had GOD prepared me for something I wasn't going to be a part of? Had I mistaken my desire for GOD's calling? If this was the case, where did I stand in regards to the rest of the things I felt GOD set aside for me to accomplish? These were not easy questions.
I struggled with these questions for a time. As I progressed through last spring I was presented with several jog opportunities in the coaching world. I applied and interviewed for several coaching jobs and was a finalist for a couple of positions. One job, in particular seemed like it was a great fit for me if I was to continue coaching and I thought I was a shoe-in for the job, but the institution decided to move in a different direction. Again, I was wondering what the purpose of the past few years of preparation had been if I was not able to use the skills I had learned.
This was topped off by another job opportunity as a worship leader in a church in Indianapolis. This seemed like a perfect fit as the church wanted a part-time worship leader which would allow me to then go to Seminary (which GOD had sparked an interest in me over the past year or so). I was one of the final two for this position but, again, the church decided to go another direction. Same question rolled through my mind.
It would seem that the calendar year was quite frustrating and, on some levels, it was. The funny thing about the whole process is that I never question GOD's plan. I had a great deal of questions about how He was working His purpose out and about my part in His plan but I never questioned the fact that GOD was working.
Many people love to quote Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' delcares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" This is a beautiful verse of hope and comfort, but most people like to forget the fact that it comes in the midst of a verse to the Jews who are exiled in Babylon. This letter is an instruction to how these people are to live in their time of captivity. It's not a verse declaring the ease and happiness of the promises of GOD. It's a verse declaring the sovereignty of GOD in our hours of captivity, struggle, doubt and frustration. Our prosperity is not earthly riches, the jobs we think we want, or the rise above the world. Our prosperity lies in the eternal rewards of serving our Father through ALL circumstances.
This is the idea that I fell back on constantly. The knowledge that, even in the times where I really was hurting and in the times when I wanted to physically see GOD move, when I wanted to understand why everything was happing the way it was, GOD was taking care of me. He was working out His plan for a specific purpose. My job was to follow Him in spite of my questions. Proverbs 16:9 says, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." I understood that as I was making decisions and following the call of the LORD that he was using those situations that I found myself in to bring about His glory in some way - I just didn't know how that was happening...yet.
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